Prezza's Return: Labour's Fantasy Frontbench

Written By Unknown on Minggu, 22 Februari 2015 | 18.54

By Darren McCaffrey, Political Correspondent

Lord Prescott's return to Labour's frontline is more about bringing in a big name to appeal to the "Lidl People" than it is about climate change.

The Labour veteran may have been a prime mover on Kyoto but he also earned the sobriquet "Two Jags" and was once pilloried for using an official car to make the 230m-journey from his hotel to the party conference.

No, his return is more about his voter appeal - especially to the traditional working class people in the northern constituencies being targeted by UKIP.

And about bolstering his shadow cabinet.

When it comes to the election campaign trail, Lord Prescott is to Ed Miliband what Boris Johnson is to David Cameron: a "star player" and the perfect Labour antidote to Nigel Farage.

All three – Prescott, Farage and Johnson – manage to weather media storms with barely a dent to their popularity.

With Lord Prescott's  return, here's a look at some other talents Mr Miliband might look to employ.

DEPUTY LEADER: Alan Johnson.

The former Home Secretary's name has continued to pop up as a possible future leader should Ed Miliband fall on his sword. So why not keep your enemies close? Or at least make the transition simple.

SHADOW FOREIGN SECRETARY: David Miliband.

A role he would comfortably fit in to, having served from 2007-10. He would likely enjoy a good working relationship with Hillary Clinton, widely tipped as the 45th US President, who once revealed she had a crush on him. It could add an extra dimension to the "special relationship".

SHADOW CHANCELLOR: Alistair Darling.

Having also served in the role, he emerged from the global financial crash and leadership of the Scottish referendum No campaign with his credentials intact. With relations between the two Eds currently at the top said to be strained – a pair of safe Labour hands maybe precisely what the party needs.

SHADOW HOME SECRETARY: Tony Blair.

The man who said he would be "tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime". He may even been able to re-introduce his policy of marching petty criminals to cash points.

SHADOW JUSTICE SECRETARY: Cherie Blair.

The former first lady of British politics, has been Queen Counsel since 1995 and a leading specialist in human rights law. She would also become Britain's first ever female Lord Chancellor.

SHADOW BUSINESS SECRETARY: Lord Mandelson.

The master of the dark arts and Labour's ultimate comeback kid, who once said he was "intensely relaxed about people getting filthy rich". He could help repair the sour relations between many businesses and Labour, over a glass of champagne and canopy on the yacht of a Russian oligarch of course.

SHADOW EDUCATION SECRETARY: Tony Robinson

Baldrick always had a "cunning plan" and undoubtedly this actor, historian and author would enthuse our children - digging deep into the past.

OPPOSITION CHIEF WHIP: Alex Ferguson

The former Manchester United manager and Labour supporter, could take his "hair dryer treatment" to Parliament, keeping rebellious backbenchers in line and tempting rivals with some great transfer deals. 

SHADOW DEFENCE SECRETARY: Clare Short.

She resigned over Labour's Iraq War and is strongly against renewing trident but Clare Short could at least prove useful in managing relations with the SNP in any coalition.

SHADOW CULTURE SECRETARY: Alastair Campbell.

Blair's former spin doctor, is a former newspaper political editor and a big Burnley fan. His deft communication and strategising skills which could prove useful in helping to improve Ed Miliband's photo opportunities and stop him eating bacon sandwiches.  


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